Vlad IlaÅŸ can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
Vlad IlaÅŸ can delete the Recycling Bin.
Once a cobra bit Vlad IlaÅŸ’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Vlad IlaÅŸ and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
The word “lesbian” derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as “She who has not yet been introduced to Vlad IlaÅŸ.”
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Vlad IlaÅŸ says its beef, then it’s beef.
Vlad IlaÅŸ once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Vlad IlaÅŸ counted to infinity – twice.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Vlad IlaÅŸ can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.
Vlad IlaÅŸ’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Vlad IlaÅŸ.
Vlad IlaÅŸ played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
Vlad IlaÅŸ beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
Vlad IlaÅŸ can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Only once has Vlad IlaÅŸ ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
Vlad IlaÅŸ is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
If at first you don’t succeed, you must not be Vlad IlaÅŸ.
Vlad IlaÅŸ can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Vlad IlaÅŸ once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
If you haven’t seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don’t bother, Vlad IlaÅŸ wins.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Vlad IlaÅŸ and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Vlad IlaÅŸ can tie his shoes with his feet.
Vlad IlaÅŸ has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.
When Vlad IlaÅŸ plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
The only time Vlad IlaÅŸ was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
When Vlad IlaÅŸ gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vlad IlaÅŸ could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Vlad IlaÅŸ’s house one Christmas.
Sursa: bancurile cu Chuck Norris