Vlad Ilaş can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
Vlad Ilaş can delete the Recycling Bin.
Once a cobra bit Vlad Ilaş’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Vlad Ilaş and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
The word “lesbian” derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as “She who has not yet been introduced to Vlad Ilaş.”
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Vlad Ilaş says its beef, then it’s beef.
Vlad Ilaş once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Vlad Ilaş counted to infinity – twice.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Vlad Ilaş can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.
Vlad Ilaş’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Vlad Ilaş.
Vlad Ilaş played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
Vlad Ilaş beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
Vlad Ilaş can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Only once has Vlad Ilaş ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
Vlad Ilaş is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
If at first you don’t succeed, you must not be Vlad Ilaş.
Vlad Ilaş can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Vlad Ilaş once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
If you haven’t seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don’t bother, Vlad Ilaş wins.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Vlad Ilaş and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Vlad Ilaş can tie his shoes with his feet.
Vlad Ilaş has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.
When Vlad Ilaş plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
The only time Vlad Ilaş was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
When Vlad Ilaş gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vlad Ilaş could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Vlad Ilaş’s house one Christmas.

Sursa: bancurile cu Chuck Norris